At least once a week, I burn the roof of my mouth on food that’s too hot to eat. It’s a stupid problem to have.

More often than you’d guess, I randomly wonder…’Can Spud Webb still dunk a basketball?’

Bottled water expiration dates are for the bottle, not the water.

Be careful what you name your text threads with friends. Because sometimes your kid will see it and tell your wife and you get in trouble and you have to work on your maturity levels again.

🐶 BC Animal Shelter Yard Sale & Dog Bath 8-2pm on Boat Factory Rd! / Drive-Thru Farmer’s Market 8am-12pm at Rose Plaza! Support our local Butler County agriculture community! #ShopLocal

The opposite sides of a die will always add up to seven.

“Dreamt” is the only word in the English language that ends with “mt.”

If you open your eyes in a pitch-black room, the color you’ll see is called “eigengrau.”

Thunder Force (‘21) Netflix: Please stop green lighting every Melissa McCarthy & Ben Falcone project. It’s fading fast. It wasn’t for me, but LB has watched it twice since. I dunno. I say C- at best.

If you don’t like Top Gun (‘86), it’s an impasse and we can’t be friends anymore. A+

Random – Telma Hopkins (Aunt Rachel on Family Matters) is from Louisville and was a backup singer for Tony Orlando. https://youtu.be/A6VzJ19lbDs

Listening lately: John Mulaney standup / Yello / John Williams compositions / Stone Temple Pilots / Vance Joy / Harry Stiles / John Baptiste / Bob Seger

Cap’N’Crunch’s full name is Horatio Magellan Crunch.

LB: Why is daddy arguing on the phone?
JEN: He’s not…I don’t think, lemme see….No, he’s just loud.
LB: How does he have any friends talking like that?
JEN: Great question.

What do you call a pudgy psychic?
A four-chin teller.

“Jumper cables, chains & a garden hose are all a man needs in an airplane. If you’re going down, they’ll catch on something. “ – Anonymous

Stompers > Tonka Trucks
ZOOM still > all real life work meetings

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